Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
