You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
