im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
