dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
