I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
