youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
