Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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