Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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