im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize