you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
