he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My balls are so social today.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
