Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
