i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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