you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
