so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
