Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
