She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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