Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize