I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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