angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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