How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
