I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You've changed since you got that strap on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
