I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
