I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
