You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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