everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
