I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
