I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
