He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
