what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you win again, gameday.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
