Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
