rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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