In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
