She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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