if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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