and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
