Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
