What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Shame - the story of my life.
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