what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
