sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
