i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
