I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
