go do what you do best...puke behind churches
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
