Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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