do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
