If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
