So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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