I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize