dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
