Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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