Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
