Kiss
Puke
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
