We got so high we made milksteak
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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