You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
false alarm, still single
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