I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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