Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
