I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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