I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
