oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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