On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
