how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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