Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
