Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
