drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
