Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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