wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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