Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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