i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
