I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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