Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize