Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
