She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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