So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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